COOL MOM

I'm so mad right now.
My mom is making me write down everything I eat for the next few days -_-
See, we have some of her grad students monitoring the weight, height, bmi, body fat etc of our soccer team ,like before and after games. Idk why really I guess they are doing a fucking experiment on us. But the want to get our daily eating habits. OH NO. Not everyones. Just mine. Hm. I wonder fucking why.

Four fucking days of fasting and my mom is already suspicious.

But ha ha ha the joke is on them because their experiment will be fucked, seeing as I'll lie about what I ate.

I just need to get way skinnier arms for homecoming. My collarbones are already way more prominent. Idk, maybe within the next few weeks I'll put some pictures up, now that I actually have followers I mean.

Anyways, nothing so far today, and I'm not that hungry either. But I have practice tonight & I just better not blackout. Its 106 fucking degrees here though so that'd be a good excuse if I did. I think for the last 4 days I'm going to end up with a 200 calorie deficit which means I should have lost 4 pounds. I can tell it's working because I'm bloating really badly today.
I'm not going to weigh until Saturday. I have a game, and that means I'll be weighed, but I cant let anyone notice I've lost 5 or so pound since last weekend so I guess I'll have to put some weights in my socks, or like chug a gallon before they weigh. Or try to duck out of weighing.

I want to know so badly, how much I am. But I'll be crushed if I haven't lost anything, and sometimes the weight all drops off the 4th or 5th day you know, and I don't want to risk bingeing. I guess it's good though because I don't need el madre to be more suspicious.

Anyway good luck with whatever you are doing right now

Pretty good

The last two days have been really good.
Yesterday, I can't rememeber if I wrote or not. But I only had 200 calories, which was Hawaiian bread, and I had practice which burned at least 400.
And today I've had a bag of chips, which was 210. I had to have it though because my mom was here for lunch. She wasted to go out for sushi and I really wanted to I LOOOVE sushi, but it had so many calories. And I couldn't let her know that I didn't want to eat, so I gave her attitude and she got mad at me and we didn't go. It was the plan but I feel like shit for it.
I'm glad though because I really need to lose weight before homecoming. My waist has already gone down an inch, to 27 now. I want it to be 22 or 23.
At least my homecmoing dress isnt like super tight on the stomach. I got it a while ago for my friend boxing match but no one saw me in it so I'm just gunna wear it again.
ANyways that doesn;t really relate. Basically, I'm feeling pretty weak shit right now, even when I climb the stairs at school I get really tired, but thats the price. I know that every burning muscle in a burning calorie and thats all I think of. Hopefully I wont have to eat anymore today, I wont by choice because my hunger has already gone away. Lots of water. I'm not even drinking diet soda, mainly because we are out though. My house is seriously like in a permanent drought. It's awful.

Oh and a good thinspo song: Fitter, Happier by Radiohead.

Thanks for supporting me :)

Merde

Sometimes I really hate having friends over. I always over eat. FML.
I need to lose weight by homecoming, because my dress is strapless and the last thing i want are fat little arms and big yucky armpit/shoulder areas. You should know what I'm talking about. If you don't then well what are you doing here, quite frankly.

I'm tired as hell, but at least when I'm tired I sorta forget to eat. Until I have friends over who wake me up -_- But at least I have practice tomorrow so I should burn all my calories for today, or at least be down to like 200 for Monday & Tuesday, as long as I don't eat tomorrow.

I'm sorta thinking of taking a sleeping pill every morning because then I'm in kinda a sleepy stupor all day, but I'm always really focused on finishing things. Hm. We'll see what I decide & 'll tell you if it stops me eating.

All in all though, I'm a pretty big failure. I still haven't gotten my vitamins, and soccer is getting in the way of my fasting. And my ankle is shit right now so I can't go to the gym. I think I will anyways though, if I'm going to be made to play soccer still then why shouldn't I.

Well idk. I just want to lose this ugl fat before homecoming which is like October 10th. I mean, with working out & fasting I think I will easily, I just hope I lose it from the right parts of my body. Right now I am focusing on arms and upper body mainly.

And always remember, don't give up what you want the MOST for what you want in the moment!